you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
