Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
