so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
