I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Even my vagina gasped.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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