3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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