I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
