were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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