so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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