Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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