Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Randomize
