speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
