May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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