you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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