return my video game
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
