Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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