Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
