Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize