I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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