her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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