I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I have surprise drugs for everyone
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
