I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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