non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
honey bunches of taint.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize