we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
