okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
