brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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