well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
