so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
