Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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