1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
