in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
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in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
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Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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