Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
