therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
