Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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