no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
