I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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