just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You ruined the universe
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
