i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Success! We fucked roommates!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize