I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
