Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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