It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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