I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I wear drunk well.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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