He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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