Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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