I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
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