:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
