i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You are the jesus of drinking
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
