Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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