u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
