So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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