I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
