I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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