maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
