Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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