If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
