i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
