Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize