Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
