i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
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