My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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