Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
