great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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