It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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