you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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