I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
