Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
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Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
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He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
so much tequila, so little girl.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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