We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
