Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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